[-99-]
DISCUSSION CLUBS.
IT is the condition of a public-house that it must do a good business some
way or other. Mr Hinton, who has just got his license for Highbury Barn, says
the dining apartment fell off and he was obliged to institute Soirées Dansantes.
Sometimes the publican gets a female dressed up in a Bloomer costume; sometimes
he has for his barman a giant, or a dwarf, or an Albino, or a Kaffir chief -
actually as an attraction to decent people to go and drink their pot of beer. I
find the following advertisement in the Morning Advertiser:-
"The Sheep-eater of Hindostan. - To be seen, the
Sheep-eater of Hindostan, representing an exhibition which took place on the 3rd
of March, 1796, before Colonel Patrick Douglas and other officers of a battalion
of Native Infantry, and a great concourse of the inhabitants of the military
station of Futtehghur. It is engraved from a sketch, taken on the spot by a
native artist, and [-100-] under the inspection of
Major-General Hardwicke, F. R. S. The Sheep-eater was a native of India, about
thirty years of age, five feet nine inches high, slender, well formed, and
rather muscular. He was attended by a very old man, whom he called his father or
preceptor, termed by the natives Gooroo or Priest, who stated he had formerly
followed the same practice. He was above the ordinary stature of the natives of
India, and wore his hair, which was of great length, coiled into the form of a
turban; and his beard was twisted like a rope, and nearly reached his feet,
being five feet eight inches in length. The exhibitor began his operation by
raising the sheep from the ground with his teeth. He then threw the animal on
its back, and, with his teeth and hands only, separated the limbs, and stript
the flesh from the bones. After mixing dust with the meat, by rubbing it on the
ground, in that dirty state he swallowed what he tore off. The last part of the
operation was chewing the leaves of a plant, the local name of which is Madaar (asclepias
gigantea), and the milky juice, which is of a very corrosive nature, he
swallowed. Having made a collection of money, and the assemblage of people
[-101-] being much increased, he offered to eat a second sheep, and
actually commenced the operation as before. It may be proper to observe, that
the sheep in most parts of India are as small as the Welsh sheep of Great
Britain. No. 1. represents lifting the sheep from the ground with his teeth
only. 2. Having thrown the sheep on its back, he extends the limbs, preparatory
to No. 3. 3. Ripping the animal open from the flank to the breast. 4. Having
removed the intestines, &c., he buries his head in the body, to drink the
blood collected. 5. Exhibiting his face, after this sanguinary draught. 6.
Having devoured every portion of flesh from the bones, he chews the plant Madaar.
7. After changing his waist-cloth, he returns with his Gooroo, or preceptor, and
offers to eat the second sheep, for the satisfaction of the increased number of
spectators.
I do not give the name of the spirited proprietor, but in his
advertisement he declares he intends exhibiting it over the bar for a short
time gratuitously. This is rich ; it is like the doctor's advice gratis.
Now in the same manner the publicans provide a weekly
discussion meeting for that part of the public that loves to hear itself speak.
There [-102-] is one at the Belvidere, Pentonville;
another at the Horns, Kennington. Fleet-street is much favoured. There are the
Temple Forum, the Cogers' Hall, and another large room in Shoe-lane. These are
gratuitous, like the picture in the above advertisement-that is, you are
expected to sit and drink all night. The most celebrated one is that which meets
not far from the Temple, presided over by the editor of a Sunday paper, and
assisted by several reporters connected with the daily journals. One of them not
long since contested an Irish borough on Protestant principles, but
unfortunately, instead of being returned, found himself in gaol for election
expenses. Besides these, there are many third and fourth-rate literary men-a
class, I fear (I speak of the minors), the most braggart, lying, and needy under
heaven-men who are going to do wonders, but who never do-whose success, if such
a term may be applied to their career, arises simply from their power of brag,
and from the possession of an enviable amount of self- esteem. Then there are
briefless barristers, but too happy to have an opportunity of airing their
dictionaries, and tradesmen, and clerks, all fancying that there is no need why
they should hide [-103-] their talents under a
napkin. Still these places do not flourish, and there are more bad speeches made
than good ones. You are cooped up in an inconvenient apartment, suffocated by
tobacco-smoke, and very unpleasantly affected by the beer and gin-and-water
which every one feels bound to consume. The waiter is in the room, and you are
expected to give your orders. The speaking is a secondary consideration. The
first thing you are required to do is to drink. I have now in my mind's eye a
young fellow who was a great man at one of these places. He was a clerk with
limited means, but he came to these places night after night, and drank and
spent his money freely. It is the old tale over again. He was intrusted with his
employer's cash. He applied some of it to liquidate his expenses. He was unable
to replace it. Discovery was made at last; he is now in Newgate, and his wife -
for he was just married - is breaking her young heart with shame and want. The
curse of these public-houses is that they lead men into expense and reduce them
into poverty, if they do not almost necessitate crime. A discussion is all very
well, and the habit of being able to get up and say a few words when occasion
requires pertinent and [-104-] apropos is
invaluable, but to acquire that habit it is scarcely worth while to sit all
night toping, while Smithers is playing old gooseberry with his H's, or
O'Flaherty raving of the wrongs of the Green Isle. The questions discussed are
generally such as are peculiar to the time. Was Lord Cardigan a hero? Does Sir
Benjamin Hall deserve well of the public for his conduct with reference to
Sunday bands? Does the Palmerston cabinet deserve the support of the country?
Would Lord John Russell's scheme of national education, if carried out, be a
public benefit? Let men talk on these subjects if they will, and as long as they
will, but I think they will think more clearly, and talk better, and come sooner
to a rational decision, if they do not drink. I am sure I have seen the audience
and the orators more inflamed by beer than by eloquence, and when turned out
into the street after a long sitting, many, I imagine, have seen a couple of
moons and double the usual allowance of lamps and police. The worst of it is,
that after the discussion is over, there will be always a few stop to have a bit
of supper and another glass. I remember, just as the war broke out, I was at one
of the places to which I have already [-105-]
referred, the subject was the propriety of erecting on the ruins of Turkey a
united Greece. The Philhellcnists came down in great force, and young Greeks,
Sophocles and Ionides, and many more screaming at the top of their voices, were
there as well. What with the excitement of the subject and what with the
excitement of the drink; the whole affair settled into a regular argie, and the
tumult of that night still rings wildly in my ear. Dumbiedikes would have stared
at the gift of tongues exhibited on that occasion.
If you admire pot-house oratory, then attend one of these
places. The chair is generally taken about nine, and the proceedings close at
twelve. A gentleman already agreed on commences the discussion, then the debate
is left to drag its slow length along, sometimes giving rise to animated
discussions, and at other times being a terrible failure. What is considered the
treat of the evening is generally something of this sort-An indifferent speaker,
perhaps a stranger, gets up and makes a short speech, which brings up one of
the old seasoned debaters, great in his own eyes and in those of almost every
one present. I assure you he is down upon [-106-] the
modest debutant in fine style, making mincemeat of his facts, and ridiculing his
logic. The easier his work is, the more does he labour at it. The audience
frantically applaud, and the orator, as he sits down, evidently thinks Brougham
could not have slashed an opponent in better style. The gravity of these
speakers is really amusing. Did they speak the language of millions - did
principles of eternal import dwell upon their tongue - did nations breathlessly
wait for their decisions - did they shake the arsenal and fulmine over Greece -
they could not set about their work in a more determined manner. And Jones, from
his tremendous castigation of Palmerston, or fierce diatribe against Lord John,
will sneak off quietly to his back garret in Pentonville, just as we can imagine
Diocletian abandoning an empire to plant cabbages at Salone. It is clear some of
the speakers are naturally good orators; but the regular stagers have a seedy
appearance, and that peculiar redness of the nose or soddenness of the skin
which indicates the drinker; and if you go much, you will find a paper with
five-shilling subscriptions, and you will be asked to give your name, for the
benefit of some prominent debater whose affairs do not [-107-]
seem to have prospered, in spite of their master's matchless powers of
oratory. The truth is, the money has been spent here in drink that was required
elsewhere, and wife and children have starved at home while the orator was
declaiming against Despotism abroad. I fear the only class benefited by these
discussions are the landlords, who point to their door and whisper in your ears,
Admission gratis. Yes, that is true; but the egress, ah, there s the rub! It is
that for which you must pay, and pay handsomely, too, as hundreds of poor
fellows have found to their cost.