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[-213-]
CHAPTER LXIX.
THE "WHIPPERS-IN."
HAVING reassured Lady Cecilia Harborough relative to the alarm inspired by the intrusion of Chichester at so critical a moment, Mr. Greenwood returned to his own residence in Spring Gardens.THE HON V. W. Y. SAWDER, M.P.
Reform Club.
The other presented the annexed superscription to view :-SIR T. M. B. MUZZLEHEM, BART., M.P.
Carlton Club
"Ah! ha!" exclaimed Mr. Greenwood,
chuckling audibly:
"I understand what this mean : Already at work, eh? No time to be lost, I
see." Then turning towards Lalleur, he added, "You see, my good fellow, that
when a man like me - a man of - of - consideration, in a word - becomes entrusted with
the interests of a free, enlightened, and independent constituency, like that of
Rottenborough, the Ministerial party and the Opposition each endeavour to secure
me to their cause - you understand, Lafleur - eh?"
"Perfectly, sir," answered the imperturbable
valet,
with his usual bow.
"Well, then, Lafleur," continued Mr. Greenwood, "you
must know farther that each party has its whipper-in. The whippers-in keep lists
of those who belong respectively to their own parties, and collect them together
when their support is absolutely necessary on a division of the House. In fact, the whippers-in are the huntsmen of the pack: and the members all collect
at the sound of their bugles. Do you comprehend, Lafleur!"
"Yes, sir - thank you, sir."
"I must therefore see both these gentlemen -
but
separately, mind. If they should happen to call at the same time, show one into
the drawing-room while I receive the other here."
"Yes, sir,"
[-214-] "And now,
Lafleur," proceeded Mr. Greenwood, " while
we are upon the subject, I may as well give you a few instructions relative to
that deportment which my altered position renders necessary."
Lafleur bowed.
"Placed in a situation of high responsibility and trust, by
the confidence of an intelligent and enlightened constituency," resumed Mr
Greenwood, "I am bound to maintain a position which may inspire respect and
confidence. In the first place, as it cannot be supposed that I shall receive
many epistolary communications until my opinions upon particular measures and
questions become known through my parliamentary conduct, - and as, at the same
tine, it would be disgraceful for the neighbourhood to imagine that my
correspondence is limited, you must take care that the two-penny postman never
passes my door without leaving a letter."
"Yes, sir. I will have a letter, addressed to you,
posted every two hours, sir, so that you cannot fail to receive one by each
delivery."
"Good, Lafleur; and you can tell the postman," added Mr.
Greenwood, "to knock louder than he has been in the habit of doing —"
"Yes, sir; because it is difficult to hear from the
servants' offices."
" Precisely, Lafleur. And you can tell our newsman to
bring me all the second editions of the newspapers whenever there are any; and
mind you always keep the news-boy waiting a long time at the door. Tell him,
moreover, to bawl out 'second edition' of whatever paper it may be, as loud as he
can."
"I will take care he shall do so, sir," answered
Lafleur.
"And once a week, or so," proceeded Greenwood, after a
pause, " let an express-courier gallop at full speed up to the house, and
ring and knock furiously until the door is opened. But, mind that he comes from
at least three or four miles distant, so that his horse may be covered with
foam, and himself with mud or dust, according to the state of the weather."
" I understand, sir."
"Moreover, Lafleur, at least three or four times a week,
go to Leadenhall Market and purchase the game and poultry which we may require
for the house, and send it home by the London Parcels Delivery Company, so that
the neighbours may say, 'More presents for Mr. Greenwood. Dear me! how popular he
must be with his constituents!'"
"I fully comprehend, sir."
"You can send fish home, too,- and haunches of venison in
the same manner," continued the new Member of Parliament; " but mind that
the feathers of the pheasants, the tails of the fish, and the feet of the
haunches always hang out of the baskets in which they are packed."
"Oh! certainly, sir."
"If you could possibly get a charity-school to wait upon
me some morning, to solicit me to become a patron, or any thing of that sort, it
would do good, and I should make a handsome donation to the funds."
"That can be managed, sir. I can safely promise that
seventy boys and ninety girls shall wait upon you in procession any day you
choose to appoint."
"Well and good, Lafleur. And mind that they are kept
standing for three quarters of an hour in the street before they are admitted."
"As a matter of course, sir."
"And now I will just mention a few things," continued Mr.
Greenwood, "that you most manage with very great nicety. Indeed, I know I can rely upon you in
every thing."
Lafleur bowed.
"You must turn away all Italian organ-players. The
moment one shows himself under our windows, let one of the footmen rush out and
order him off. It is not proper to encourage such vagabonds: the aristocracy
don't like them."
"Certainly not, sir."
"Organ-playing is a thing I am determined to put an end
to. There is also the hoop nuisance. Give any boy into charge, whatever may be
his age, who is caught trundling a hoop in Spring Gardens. That is another thing
I am resolved to put an end to. Ballad-singers and broom-girls you will of
course have taken into custody without hesitation. In fact you had better give
the policeman upon the beat general instructions upon this head; and you can
slip a guinea into his hand at the same time."
"Very good, sir."
"At the same time we must be charitable,
Lafleur - we must be
charitable."
"Decidedly, sir."
"You must find out some decent woman with half a dozen
children, to whom the broken victuals can be given every day at about three
o'clock, when there are plenty of people in the street ;- a woman who does not
exactly want the food, but who will not refuse it. The respectability of her
appearance will be set down to my benevolence, Lafleur; and she must be careful
always to come with her children. By these means we shall gain the reputation of
being judiciously particular in respect to vagabonds and impostors, but
charitable in the extreme to the deserving poor."
"Just so, sir."
"One word more, Lafleur. When any person calls whom you
know I do not want to see, say, 'Mr. Greenwood is engaged with a deputation from
his constituents;' or else, 'Mr. Greenwood has just received very important
dispatches, and cannot be disturbed;' - or, again, 'Mr. Greenwood has just stepped
down as far as the Home Office.' You fully comprehend."
"Perfectly, sir."
"Then you may retire, Lafleur. But - by the bye
- Lafleur!"
" Yes, sir? "
"I shall add twenty guineas a year to your wages from
this date, Lafleur," said Mr. Greenwood.
"Thank you, sir, answered the valet; and, with a low
bow, he retired.
"Another step gained in the ladder of ambition! "
said Greenwood to himself, when e was alone. "A Member of Parliament - and
in spite of Lord Tremordyn! ha! ha! ha! In spite of Lord Tremordyn! Oh most
intelligent and independent electors of Rottenborough: I bought your suffrages
with gold, with fine words, with clowns and mountebanks; and with pots of beer!
Free and enlightened electors! ha! ha! I shall turn against the very interest
in which I was elected; but if my constituents grumble, I will silence them with
more gold ;- if they reproach, I will use all the sophistry of which language is
capable-and that is not a little ;- if they repine, I will win them back to good
humour with fresh sights, and buffoons, and galas; - if they grow dry with talking against me, I will have whole
pipes of wine and butts of beer broached in their streets! Yes - I must join the
Tory interest: I see that it is now upon the rise. And yet I know- I feel in my
heart - I have the conviction that the popular cause is the true one, the just
one. [-215-] But what of that? I stood forward as a
candidate to suit
myself, and not for the sake of the free and independent electors of
Rottenborough! Yes, all goes well with me! An occasional annoyance - such as
my failure in obtaining possession of the person of Eliza Sydney, and of the
hand of Isabella, the lovely Italian - cannot be avoided ;- but in all great points
- in all my important views, I am successful I And yet, Isabella - Isabella! Upon her the eye that is wearied with the
contemplation of
the rude and discordant scenes of life, could rest - could rest with unfeigned,
with ineffable delight! O Isabella, there are times when thine image comes
before me, like the vision of a holy and chaste Madonna to the sleep-bound mind
of the pious Catholic ;- and there have been solitary hours in which the whole
earth has seemed to me to be covered with flowers beneath the sweet sunlight of
thine eyes! And yet - who knows? The day may come when even thou shalt he mine!
I longed to languish in the arms of Diana Arlington ;- and I had my wish. I
coveted the patrician loveliness of Cecilia Harborough ;- and, behold! my wealth
purchased it. I sought for change; and accident - a strange accident -
surrendered
to my embraces another - yes, another - whom I have never seen since that day -
now
more than two months ago, - but who, I have since learnt through the medium of
my faithful Lafleur, dwells in the same house with —"
Mr. Greenwood's reverie was interrupted by the entrance of
his valet, who introduced the Honourable Mr. Sawder into the study. The new
Member of Parliament received the Whig whipper-in with his usual courtesy of
manner; and, when they were both seated, Mr. Sawder felicitated Mr. Greenwood
upon the successful result of the Rottenborough election.
"The liberal cause triumphed most signally," said Mr.
Sawder: "the result was hailed with enthusiasm at the Reform Club, I can
assure you."
"I have no doubt," answered Mr. Greenwood, already
adopting the method of evasion so much in vogue amongst diplomatic and political
circles,- "I have no doubt that every true lover of his country must be
rejoiced at the victory achieved by straightforward conduct over the system of
bribery, intimidation, and corruption practised by the nominee of Lord Tremordyn
and his agents."
"Oh! certainly - certainly," returned Mr. Sawder. "
The object of my present visit is to ascertain whether you will permit me to
introduce you to the House this evening?"
"It is my intention to take the oaths and my seat this
evening," answered Mr. Greenwood.
"And
my services as chaperon —"
" You really confer a great honour upon me."
"Then I may consider that you accept —"
"My dear sir, how can I sufficiently thank you for this kind
interest which you take in my behalf?"
"Pray do not mention it, Mr. Greenwood."
"No, Mr. Sawder, I will not allude to it; since
it is the more
to be appreciated, inasmuch as I never had the pleasure of being known to you
previous to this occasion."
" I am therefore to understand," said the whipper-in, who
could not precisely fathom the new member through the depths of these ambiguous
phrases, "that you will allow me the honour of introducing you —"
"The honour, my dear sir, would be with me," observed
Mr. Greenwood, with a gracious bow.
"At
what hour, then, will you be prepared —"
"My time shall henceforth always be devoted to the
interests of my constituents."
"A very noble sentiment, my dear Mr.
Greenwood," said
the whipper-in. "Shall we then fix the ceremony for five o'clock?"
"Five o clock is an excellent hour, Mr. Sawder
- an excellent hour. I know no hour that I like more than five
o'clock," exclaimed Mr. Greenwood.
"Be it five, then," said the whipper.in. " And now,
relative to the Reform club - when will it please you to be proposed a member?"
"It will please me, my dear sir, at any time, to join
that fraternity of honourable gentlemen with whom I shall in future co-operate."
"Well and good, my dear sir," said Mr. Sawder and he
slowly and reluctantly took his leave, not knowing what to make of the new
member for Rotten borough, nor whether to calculate upon his adhesion to the
Whig cause, or not.
Scarcely had the Honourable Mr. V. W. Y. Sawder, M. P.,
driven away in his beautiful cabriolet from Mr. Greenwood's door, when Sir T. M.
B. Muzzlehem, Bart., M. P. arrived in his brougham at the same point. But if Mr.
Greenwood were evasive and ambiguous to the Whig whipper-in, he was clear and
lucid to the Tory one.
Sir T. Muzzlehem began by felicitating him upon his
election, and in a verbose harangue, expressed his hopes that Mr. Greenwood
would support that cause "the object of which was to maintain the glorious
old constitution inviolate, and uphold the Established Church in its unity and
integrity."
"Those are precisely my intentions," said Mr. Greenwood.
"I am delighted to hear you say so, my dear sir,"
resumed the Tory whipper-in; "but I have one deep cause of uneasiness,
which is that you may not entertain precisely the same views of what is
necessary to maintain these honourable and ancient institutions, as the men who
would gladly lay down their lives to benefit their country."
"I believe, Sir Thomas Muzzlehem," answered Mr.
Greenwood, " that I shall act according to the wishes of my constituents,
the dictates of my own conscience, and the views of the illustrious men of whom
you speak."
" In which case, my dear Mr. Greenwood, I am of course
to understand that you will be one of us - one of the true defenders of the Throne, the Constitution,
and the Church —"
"In other words, a Conservative," added Mr. Greenwood.
"Bravo!" ejaculated the whipper-in, unable to conceal
his joy at this unexpected result of a visit whose object he had at first deemed
certain of defeat then, shaking Mr. Greenwood heartily by the hand, he said,
"At what hour shall I have the pleasure of introducing you this evening?"
"At a quarter to five precisely," replied Mr. Greenwood.
"And of course you will become a member of the
Carlton?"
added the whipper-in.
" Of course - whenever you choose - as early as possible,"
said Mr. Greenwood.
Sir Thomas Muzzlehem again wrung the hand oh the new member,
and then took his leave.
The moment he had departed, Lafleur repaired to the study,
and said, "A lady, sir, is waiting to see you in the drawing-room."
"A lady!" ejaculated Mr. Greenwood: " who is she?"
"I do no know, sir. She refused to give me hat name; and I
have never seen her before."
"How did she come?"
"On foot, sir. She is neatly, but plainly
dressed; [-216-] and yet
her manners seem to indicate that she is a lady."
"Strange! who can she be?" murmured Greenwood, as he hastened to the
drawing-room.
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